I have followed my intuition in quilting
and lost myself to a project well beyond my skill level and patience.
There are some things you should know about me before I continue:
I tend to get ideas for projects that well surpass my skills at any given moment. As if my muse is constantly one step ahead of where I’m at, beckoning me to get in over my head (or you might interpret this as: beckoning me to learn new skills).
I view patterns and recipes as mere suggestions to be altered based on materials available and materials desired. This is why I don’t spend a lot of time baking, chemistry was not a strong subject for me.
I collect all manner of materials and mediums, then get anxious about using them all up, so I find projects in which I might use them all up.
A few months ago I spent a whole evening shredding hundreds of old photos (the 90s and disposable cameras, amiright?). I had intended to shred them into strips and weave with them, however, I found that the shredder cut the widths too, so I was left with one-inch confetti rather than longer strips to work with. I hesitated initially, considering my options: stop shredding this massive pile of useless photos and find another way to achieve the weaving idea;
OR,
Embrace the change in expectations and rethink the project altogether.
I chose the latter, the exhilaration of the destruction of these past versions of myself and people I once knew had overtaken me and I spent the evening gleefully obliterating.
Soon I remembered that a friend had made an ottoman pouf from shredded paper, and during that last fateful PMS week, I found myself choosing an ottoman pouf tutorial that, of course, I have altered.
The 20-inch diameter extended to a 30-inch diameter because 20 just isn’t big enough.
First things: I constructed a drawstring sack out of old sheets with a 30-inch base and, I hope, enough material in the body to account for the 16-inch height of the ottoman and to be cinched closed completely. The sack will be open to the floor, so it’ll get messy if it doesn’t fully close.
Second things: Five or six years ago I collected several fat quarter bundles sold in that aisle at Aldi where you’re bound to find everything you didn’t know you needed. I bought the lot of them, thinking I’d turn them into book cloth and bind hundreds of blank journals which never happened (follow these whims, even if the thing you intend to make never gets made, your intuition is guiding you and a project will always become clear as long as you’re listening). A 30-inch ottoman pouf is a splendid way to use up large swaths (though it turns out not nearly enough for me to be satisfied) of that material.
However, I’m not a quilter, in truth, I’ve sewn three or four items in maybe my whole adult life. I only did my first zipper in September. And I don’t have a pattern for a 30-inch ottoman pouf, so I’m staying true to character: using up collected materials, altering patterns, in over my head. Check, check, and check.
I managed to use my remaining geometry skills, a tape measure, multiple pieces of paper taped together, and the help of the internet (I forgot how to calculate the circumference of a circle!) to create a pattern. But then I got the bright idea, from where I’m really not sure considering I didn’t know what a Dresden Plate was before I decided to create one, I needed angles. Rolls eyes.
So I added the angles, traced and cut out guides from a piece of plastic I acquired three years ago, and set about cutting.
I was exuberant about the results, with all the angles, until looking at the pieces, I realized I wasn’t entirely certain how to pin these angles together to sew them. For three whole days, I stared at the pieces and scoped out images of other cushions and poufs with the pattern trying to wrap my brain around the construction. As soon as I grasped onto something concrete (literally putting the pieces together) by the morning it slipped away.
Finally, I decided, to sew everything together in three separate sections (top, bottom, middle, like one would any tube-shaped item), as I had initially intended, and go from there. It’s the only way forward! Come what may. I have a seam ripper and I’m not afraid to use it.
Cutting and ironing interfacing was tedious and frustrating, even after I adjusted the iron temp, the finished product came out bubbly and unevenly attached (I’m working with what I have), but I made a game of puzzling together smaller pieces of interfacing so as not to waste even the smallest bit and after two runs to the craft store (I did not calculate before my first visit and grossly underestimated my requirements in interfacing and on the second I fear I quite overestimated!) and three days of ironing, I can proudly say that the bulk of my interfacing on this project is now complete and I am exhausted.
In the meantime, with all that space my brain had for wandering in 15-second intervals, I came up with the bright idea to add handles and pockets.
I have been consumed, possibly, necessarily so. Turning so intently to a project that takes up quite a lot of time, focus, and problem-solving has diverted my attention from thought loops that seemed unsolvable or were out of my control.
It’s opened space to listen for solutions and next steps. It allows for letting go. And if all else fails, I’ll have an ottoman pouf at the end of it. A messy, bubbly, ill-sewn ottoman pouf that I have made.
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Or, maybe, an “Invitation for Action”: Is there a project, skill, or knowledge you’ve been considering picking up but have been putting off in favor of what “should” be done or scrolling the socials? What might happen if you set some things aside for a bit and got started today?
FUNNY STORY. When I uploaded all my works to Ko-Fi I sincerely thought my Etsy shop was on vacation as I considered where I’d prefer to build a shop. Then two days after I sent out the link I received my Etsy bill for my listings and found it’s been up and running all this time. That’s the kind of neglectful business owner I’ve been! I feel a shift in energy and focus in this regard as I spend more time in the studio.
If you’re feeling put out by the holiday season, I’m personally finding regular energy healing sessions to be helpful in creating balance and ease. I’d love to book a distance Reiki session with you.